Raindrops for Remus
by WhynnyFille
Summary: Voldemort has won… Harry is dead, as are most of the members of the Order. Ginny and a few others have escaped the clutches of the Death Eaters, who are converting everyone and killing anyone who refuses. Remus' execution day is set, and Tonks contempla


Raindrops for Remus

A/N - Hello again! This was a lot of fun to write (I love angst, as you can probably guess), though it was a bit dark… Oh well. Please read and review. Rating is for violence.

8-8

Tonks felt a single tear roll down her cheek, mingling with the droplets of rain upon her face.

She glanced down at her left forearm, where her skin still stung where the Dark Mark was freshly burned onto her skin. _This wasn't how it was supposed to end_, she thought miserably. _It wasn't supposed to be like this…_

Around her, she could see others like her - forced to join the ranks of those they had once fought. Upon her back, Tonks felt the gaze of the man who was at the head of this reign of terror…

_Eye contact is essential,_ she reminded herself. _Don't turn around._ She flinched nonetheless when the Dark Lord laid a hand on her shoulder.

"Nymphadora," he murmured in her ear, "don't you see? It's so much better this way - it's for the good of the wizarding world that I do this, you know."

Tonks bit her lip and lowered her gaze to the ground as Voldemort brushed past her in a swirl of black cloth. He climbed the stairs to the platform, like smoke curling over each step as he ascended and drew a scroll of parchment from inside his robes.

"Let it be known," he began, his cold voice grating Tonks' ears, "that on April 1, Remus Julius Lupin, hereafter to be called 'the condemned' shall be executed at sundown for crimes against the wizarding community…"

Tonks bit back a sob of anguish and cast her attention upward to the platform, past the black-robed shape of the Dark Lord, to where the sentenced witches and wizards were executed. It took her only moments to distinguish Remus from the dark wall of the building behind him - his head was bowed in utter defeat, his tawny hair matted from long imprisonment, his shoulders slumped in failure…

There was nothing that she could do to save him - she was too far away to do anything without being noticed. Or to save the others like him - the others who the Dark Lord had no need for.

She remembered the moment, only a week ago -

Tonks inhaled deeply and rolled up her left sleeve. There it was - burned into her skin, blood-red and angry, a welt that could never be healed completely… He had done it. The Dark Lord himself… Remus had tried to protect her, and now - now he was going to be killed!

She had considered killing Voldemort, _Avada Kedavra_, but she knew it would be futile. Tonks knew she hadn't the strength to do it; she didn't hate for the sake of hate like they did. There was still a difference between them - wasn't there?

"Nymphadora…"

Her eyes snapped upwards to the platform. Everyone was staring at her - everyone in the crowd was watching - _he_ was staring at her, both of them were, both their eyes vying for hers, Remus staring at her in tired love, Voldemort in cruel amusement…

"Yes - my Lord?"

Voldemort smiled at her and beckoned with one long, pale finger. "Care to do the honors?"

Tonks thought she would faint - the raindrops spilled down her face, down her hands - like a shower of blood, falling away from her, washing away her heart -

She shook her head; a ripple of nervous laughter wormed its way through the crowd. Voldemort stared at her, his scarlet eyes boring into her own - and laughed. A cold laugh that seemed to ricochet off all of the buildings, shattering the sound of the rain.

And she stepped forward.

Remus stared at her. His eyes widened ever so slightly, as though he were going to fight her - then all the fight went out of him, and he slumped against the pole he was shackled to. His eyes closed, and he shook his head. Tonks winced, but bit her lip and continued her way up the platform steps.

"See - I knew you'd come around." Voldemort smiled. "Kill him."

Tonks reached into her robes for her wand. She pointed it directly at him and turned her face away.

"Kill him, Nymphadora."

Tonks closed her eyes - no, she couldn't - she wouldn't do it!

"Kill him…" Tonks felt her breathing speed up - this was impossible. How could she ever hope to pull this off? "Kill him!"

"FINE!"

A hush ran through the crowd below. She felt her eyes welling up with tears. How horrible this must be for Remus - but she had no way of telling him the truth, this was the only way… Tonks took a deep breath, faced Remus, and screamed - "Sectumsempra!"

Wounds erupted all over Remus - blood flowed from several across his face and neck, blood soaked through the front of his grimy robes. Behind her, the mob collectively gasped in shock, and Voldemort hissed… Tonks rushed to Remus side. He was clearly unconscious - she had little time…

She pointed her wand directly at the bonds encircling him and muttered to herself - _"Diffindo!"_ The ropes fell away - she had to hurry - and Tonks grabbed his wrist. Tonks summoned the last of her strength and, closing her eyes, thought of that place - the last safe place - where everything had gone so desperately wrong six months ago…

8-8

Everything went black. The two of them were alone in the darkness, the pressure that accompanied Apparition was heavy on Tonks - it seemed to last seconds longer than usual before they reappeared, just across from a tapestry of trolls.

Six months ago, Death Eaters had waged their greatest assault ever on the Order of the Phoenix here, at Hogwarts. It began at Godric's Hollow, then made its way here, to the school, as the Order fled after Harry's death… All of the wards - including the anti-Apparition charms - had been decimated by the sheer force of numbers that had accompanied Voldemort.

Tonks stood up, laying Remus' head gently on the cold stone, and paced towards the opposite wall. She closed her eyes and focused, hard, on the Room of Requirement. _We need a place to hide, where they won't find us…_ The door appeared in the stone, and Tonks dashed back across the hall to Remus.

Scooping him up in her arms, she carried him to the door and pushed it open. He was so light after imprisonment; she could feel his ribs through the ripped robes he was wearing. Carefully, Tonks bore him over the threshold and closed the door behind them. _They can't be allowed to get in,_ Tonks thought, and was satisfied by the soft _click_ of the door locking. She laid Remus on the floor (the room was utterly void of all furnishings) and sat beside him.

_I need some medical supplies,_ Tonks thought desperately. Almost instantly, the room provided what she required - gauze, disinfectant; anything she could possibly need.

"Please, Remus…" She passed her wand over the wounds she had inflicted; they healed instantly, but Tonks knew that damage had been done. Remus' tattered robes were soaked with his blood. He had bled too much, Tonks knew it - she had taken too long… He would die because of her…

She swiped at her eyes and tried to pull herself together. What Remus needed was a competent Healer, not a sobbing girl who would just botch everything for nerves. Carefully, she wiped away most of the blood covering his face, disgusted by the freshly healed wounds that she herself had given him. She bit her lip and tried to stay calm.

"Come on…" Tonks whispered. She was an experienced Healer, she knew it, but that didn't help her worry that the one time she couldn't save someone…

Minutes passed - Remus still breathed, but fitfully, as though it was a great struggle to take each breath. Tonks closed her eyes. _It's too cold in here_, she thought. Almost instantaneously, she heard the crackle of a fire behind her, and felt its spreading warmth across her back.

Upon opening her eyes, she found a pile of blankets - threadbare and old, but still warm. Tonks felt a pang of sorrow for the house-elves that had once placed them here. They were all gone, some of the first casualties when the Death Eaters invaded Hogwarts. There had been one - one house-elf, particularly loyal. He had led the Order to the kitchens, and attempted to hold off the Death Eaters while they barricaded themselves inside…

What had his name been? It had been distinctive… Dobbin? Dobba? She couldn't remember… She laid a blanket over Remus and tucked it around his thin frame. At her touch, he stirred unexpectedly, and Tonks heard him murmur something - she leaned closer, but Remus had returned to a state of deep unconscious.

She left him in front of the fireplace and backed away, jackknifing herself into a ball of sorrow and regret, and cried in a corner as the first sounds of arriving Death Eaters began to filter through the locked door.

8-8

"How are you feeling?"

Remus shrugged and leaned back against the wall. "Fine." He was silent for a few seconds, surveying Tonks' face. They had managed to conjure up a few chairs and some more blankets, but it seemed that the enchantment surrounding the room was beginning to wear off.

Almost a week had passed since All Fools Day, and Remus seemed to be regaining his strength.

"Did you manage to get more food from the Room?" Tonks nodded and handed over a hunk of bread. Silence.

"What are we going to do?" Tonks asked, a note of fear in her voice. Every minute, they could hear the Death Eaters outside - talking, watching, waiting… If they emerged, they would be killed instantly.

Remus shook his head. He, despite his reputation for cleverness, could not solve the puzzle. But there was a deeper conundrum, one that he feared above all. The full moon was less than a week away. By now, Remus remembered the pain of transformation, having been denied Wolfsbane in prison. By now, he recalled the intrinsic need to kill, to feel tearing flesh beneath claws and teeth, to taste spurting blood, feel it running down his throat…

He felt sick.

"Remus?"

He looked up at Tonks and forced a smile. What was there to do? The Room barely produced food upon request; how could it be made to make Wolfsbane? Or even the ingredients? He knew that Tonks was a singularly gifted witch when it came to the brewing of potions, but even she couldn't produce a potion from nothing.

Remus summoned his courage.

"Nymphadora - "

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus," Tonks muttered distractedly. She was staring at the door; it sounded as if the Death Eaters had redoubled their efforts to get inside.

"Nymphadora."

Tonks looked around, exasperation in her eyes, but a trace of fear as well.

"I have to ask something of you." Remus took a deep breath. "It's…important - you have to promise." He ran a hand through his hair, his heart beating a violent tattoo in his ears. "Nymphadora - " She looked frightened, but that fear somehow made her seem more responsible, older.

"Nymphadora," he began again. "It's almost the full moon." Tonks stood up and walked to the other side of the room, trying hard not to burst into tears. So this was how it would end… "Listen to me," he said quietly. "You have to promise me you'll do anything within your power to protect yourself."

Tonks shook her head, tears spilling down her face. She knew what he was asking of her, and she wouldn't do it! He stood up and walked towards her, attempting to steady his uneasy steps. Tonks shook her head as he drew nearer.

"Nymphadora - please - listen… I want you to promise me - promise, you will do anything within your power to save yourself if I turn on you. Promise…"

Tonks shook her head even more violently and collapsed against Remus, throwing her arms around him, wanting to be as close to him as she could manage.

"I almost killed you once," she murmured. "I won't be responsible for your death."

"And I won't be responsible for yours." Remus pulled her closer to him, savoring just being with her, even here, in this godforsaken place, where the Death Eaters were a constant threat, and they lived in fear… Where she was, he was home.

"Promise me." He forced Tonks to look at him; she shook her head, horror in her eyes. "Promise…"

And with a sinking feeling in her heart, a quiet protest in the back of her head, her eyes filled with tears and her thoughts full of dread - she nodded, frightened and alone in the world that had grown to be so different from that which she knew.

8-8

_"Promise me…"_

Tonks brandished her wand at the wolf slowly advancing upon her. It growled, a deep, guttural sound in the back of its throat - Tonks gulped.

_"…promise, you will do anything within your power to save yourself if I turn on you…"_

How could she? Now that the actual deed was upon her, Tonks couldn't bring herself to do it. She remembered Remus' face when she had cursed him, blood spurting from his neck, his eyes filled with the horror of betrayal… She swayed slightly and, with her free hand, grabbed at the wall for support.

_"Nymphadora…"_

Her breathing came in gasps now, her eyes filling with tears. "Remus," she murmured, a simple fact more than a plea. How could she bear to hurt him again, the only man she had ever truly loved? There had been others, forgettable things, but Remus was different… How could she hurt him? What if she killed him?

With a snarl, he lunged at her, and she screamed, dropping her wand as he snapped at her throat, clawed at her face - Nymphadora, her name, she tried to remember it - no, not Tonks, she was never Tonks to him - the pain seared through her like a burning iron - the iron that had been used to brand her arm - she was sorry for that, but it was the only way - saw the blood spilling out onto the floor, drops of crimson that steamed and smoked…

_Bleeding - raindrops for Remus…_

Remus collapsed to the floor, his face twisted in agony, his hands balled into fists. His tawny hair was matted with blood - _her blood_ - and his robes were ripped and torn… Remus couldn't take it - he couldn't stand the sight of her corpse, what he had done to her…

"Why, Tonks?" he shrieked, crawling over to her lifeless form and gathering her mangled body into his arms, cradling her close… "Why didn't you do like I told you? I should be dead right now - not her! Oh, God - please…"

And picking her up, bearing her in his arms, tears streaming down his face, he stood up and walked through the door to the hallway…

_Nothing mattered here. _

_The rules fell away - the flowers bloomed in the middle of the air, completely independent of the earth. The soil was not brown but hundreds of hues - a mix of jewel tones that blended to make the color of the earth, the color of simplicity, the color of forgiveness… _

_Remus smiled at his bride. She too smiled - happy again, her body glorified and her wounds gone. Her eyes seemed to speak a million things left unsaid. _

_Tonks squeezed Remus' hand tightly as a wolf howled in the distance - it went running across the hills, far away from the couple, gone forever. She leaned in and kissed him, letting him know that she understood and forgave. Closing her eyes, Tonks let herself rest against him, letting Remus support most of her weight._

_The rain fell._

A/N - Please review - it's always helpful!

My goodness, that fanfic got way too melodramatic. Oh well. posts anyway


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